pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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