I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize