i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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