but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
how does that bad decision feel?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
