In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize