When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
