Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
