my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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