She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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