This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
