You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
