Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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