he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
