Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize