Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
