You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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