I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
