i don't like sucking hair
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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