Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
