I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
