Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize