He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
