I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
