We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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