it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
