I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
