My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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