Porn is love you can see.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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