you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
