Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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