but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize