Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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