I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
