So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
