We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
