Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
