He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
