Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
