I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
