: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
