There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
