sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
