okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
