on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
