is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
