thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
