her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
