i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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