the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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