everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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