im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
