can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
