Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
