Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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