I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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