While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
