SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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