i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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