Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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