return my video game
id be glad to
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
