At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Alive.
So much puke
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
