...so i touched it.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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