her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
